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My name is Violet, Im 14 years old, and Im 8 weeks pegnant by my bf(16) who denies being the father of my baby. I know that this kid belongs to him, but he told me he cant be the dad because hes too young to be a father. Im 14, 2 years younger, and Im supposed to be both, mother and father. My bf was there to lie down and make a child, I think that he should be there to support it. Since the day he found out, all he's said was "why did you get pregnant?" Ive been taking full responsiblity for getting pregnant, he says its all my fault and he shouldnt be punished because its not his problem. I was supposed to go to the doctor but he wont take me because hes too busy with his friends, and he says hes not wasting time on some other guys kid. I know Im not ready to be a mother at just 15 years old, but Im against abortion and adoption doesnt feel right to me. Im sure the baby belongs to him, at first he was okay with it, but then fear stuck so he decided to flee. I dont care if hes in my life, but my child deserves a father. I called him today 3 times, I asked him to take me to the doctor and he said that he wants nothing to do with my child until he has proof its his. He says the kid can be anybodys and I should leave him alone because its my problem. I called him and I just said that he needs to stand up and be the man he thought he was and he needs to take care of the child he helped create. After I said this, he got mad, said the kid aint his and hung up. Im sure hes cheated on me, and now hes paranoid. He said he dont want me dating other guys, but I want my child to have a father. Being pregnant at 14 is hard enough, I dont want my bf denying his kid too. He knows its his, either that, or jesus is the father. Is there anything I can do about this?
SORRY FOR ASKING AGAIN, BUT ALL THE ANSWERS WERE "GET AN ABORTION" OR "SHOULD'VE USED A CONDOM"
APPARENTLY YALL DON'T REALIZE THAT ITS TOO LATE...Make him go on Maury. Just kidding.
I am not going to judge you.You are very young, but I have to give you kudos for taking on the responsibility. He is a jerk. Do your parents know that you're pregnant? If not, tell them. They need to talk to his parents about it. Since he is underage, his parents will have to pay child support. Good luck, and I hope everything turns out to be ok.well i think you are being very responsible. most of the time questions like this get rude comments because its just people trying to be stupid and lying. But you sound as though you are really in this situation so i want to help you. First off i am very proud of you for taking responsibility (even though your bf needs to take some too) and I am so glad you arent going to have an abortion. Adoption is a very good option but if you dont feel its right for you then you should really sit down and talk to your parents and make sure that they are willing to help you so that you can still go to school. Im not going to lie, it will be a very hard road for you and very emotional and tough. but it will make you stronger and you will probably learn a little lesson as well. Like i said you really need to talk to your parents and get a support system and also ask one of them to take you to the doc. since it seems your bf is irresponsible and unreliable. Then you need to talk to your bf and his parents. Chances are if you sit down with his rents (yes it will be very awkward) they will talk to him and probably force some responsibility on him. I was a young mommy at 18 and it was hard for me even being married and much older than you...i cant imagine how hard it will be for you. but i can tell you that the best things are the truth and a good support system wether it be your parents and your best friends or a young moms group in your area. I would also recommend getting a counselor (and try to get your bf to go with you) so that you can talk out some of your frustrations in a private setting. please feel free to e-mail me (it should be on my profile) but you can use mjsportschik7@yahoo.com. for any other info or advice. I really hope it all works out for you and thank you for being so honest!Just use all the help you can get.
If you want to keep the baby,
take advantage of the great friends and family that you have.
He's a prick for denying it is his and I'm sorry you have to put up with that.
Good luck and I hope everything works out.ok 1 once you give birth you are going to have to adopt
there is no other way
and when you give birth it will really hurt but you should of used a condomHave you told your parents? If you have, then get them to call his parents, and get them to take your to the doctor. If you haven't, i would deff tell them. They will help you. If he doesn't want to be around now, then so be it. Take him to court when the baby is born. They will do a paternity test and grant you child support. If you feel comfortable in a new relationship than that is up to you, but at this stage in life, it may be better to just do things on your own for now. Eventually you will find a good man to be a father figure. He obviously is very immature anyways. The baby needs a stable home, and he doesn't sounds like he could be such. I think you are acting very mature for your age, but you should try to forget about everything except your health and the babies health, as hard as it may be.If he keeps acting like this wait till, d baby born & give him a blood test, mayb he will change, or talk to his parents about it. Theyll proabably understand. Time for you to grow up quickly, He isn't interested in being a father. He's not going to magically change his mind and be there for you. You cannot change someone's mind, its best to leave him be.
You need to see to yourself for the health of the baby. Get a bus pass and get yourself to the DR.
If your parents and boyfriend aren't helping you, what kind of life are you and the baby going to have? Based on how often you ask this question, and your frame of thinking, adoption is a very real possibility for you and may be the best option for the baby. He or She could have two loving parents that could care for him or her. You said yourself you aren't ready...tell you parents everything. i dont care if ur scared u did this to urself apparently.then take care of the baby with ur parents or get a testhi honey email me and we can talk i know that its hard to be a single teen parent and i would love to tell you my story and maybe give you a little support k :) i would be more then happy to help you out1: Tell him that it is BOTH of your faults for getting pregnant.You both decided to have sex.Protection or not, pregnancy is always a possibility.If it is any consolation, his sperm is the one that fertilized the egg.
#2: There is nothing you can do if he doesn't want to be a father.You cannot force him.And, he might not know it's his kid.I am not calling you a cheater, but things do happen all of the time.
#3: Stop calling him! it's obvious that he wants nothing to do with you right now.
#4: Tell him that when the baby is born, he can go to court and file for a paternity test.It could be low to no cost.Or, you can do it.That will prove or disprove that he is the father.
#5: You don't need to be worrying about other guys right now.Your child is your number 1 focus right now.Stop worrying.
#6: Don't wait for him to take you to the doctors.Have one of your parents take you.You need to seek medical attention to make sure things are going along alright.
Good luck.Have your parents call the cops and press charges on him, then get a paternity test. Then maybe he won't deny it.You just need to get rid of him right away. Stressing out over him is going to be bad for you and the baby.
Are your parents willing to help you out until you get through school?
If so then I think you'll be just fine. It's a HUGE change, but it's also very rewarding. It seems impossible but it's been done many times before. If you've got family to help you while you continue getting an education, then I think everything will be fine if this is what you really want. Ignore this guy because he's obviously too dumb to be a parent anyhow. Best of luck!
I think Nikki:) is borderline retarded or something, seriously ignore her.I dont know. well u said u r pregnant for 8 weeks? so that must mean that ur parents know. so maybe u can get help from them. and i guess ur bf isnt the right guy to be around. You cant force someone to come around a child if they dont want to. All you can do is get a dna test once the baby is born. In PA you cant even put a 16yr old on child support...dont know the laws where you live. I would really think about what your going to do for the future. Are your parents going to help you raise this baby, are you going to finish school?? You have alot on your plate.You are right...too late for a condom lol.
Talk to your parents. You are going to need someone to lean on for support and he obviously isn't strong enough for that. You can raise the baby with the help of your family if that is what you want. Don't let him add stress to your life.
By the way i'm not sure how you could go after him for child support (you would have to prove its his with DNA after the baby is born) since you are both underage. Good luck and please talk to your family asap they can take you to the doctor.I can't help you with the father situation but I have two children with an ex-husband and my mom always told me that if a man will not change for his children then he will not change for anyone! Take the baby and leave him knowing that you will ALWAYS have the best part of him!
DON'T WORRY about Nikki, immature people get on here all the time to be dumb because they don't have a LIFE!
I want to praise you for taking responsibility and not getting an abortion! You're young but always remember that the Lord wouldn't bring it to you if he wasn't willing to bring you thru it! wow,, umm im almos 14 and cant imagine that . well ur bf is a jerk i suggest u get sum money take a cab or bus and go to the doctor ur self, or get a friend or sumone old enough to help u get there , you really need help and i know u dont wanna do this but i think u should put ur baby for adoption because you need to move on with ur life and go to school its best if u do and i know it would be hard but its the right thing to do it will really help! good luck to you wish you all the best , add me as friend and u could tell me what happens ok!
and tell ur bf to go fuckin kill himself !There really is nothing you can do to make him be there for you but you need to tell your parents and have them take you to the doctor. It's very important to get to the doctor. You could get a dna test to prove he is the father and get him for child support, he's old enough to get a job and support the baby he helped make.aww honey, thats so sad. If i knew him, I'd beat the crap outta him for you. Take a paternity test, to show him its his.
ur right, it doesnt matter that u didnt use a condom. Really NIKKI was bein an *$$. Just ignor her. But, please do take care and take a paternity test.well, tell your parents, and hopefully they will help you out. You dating isnt going to be easy honey so i would cutt that out of the equation for a little while. HIm, I would sue his *** on top of hitting him up on child suport. BTW i wouldnt call him your bf anymore.Your kid isnt really going to have a dad and you have to deal with it.I am glad you have decided against an abortion! I really think you should reconsider adoption. You are extremely young to have to raise a child on your own. If you are dead set against adoption then please talk to your parents. I hope they will give you the love and support you are going to need. As for the father there is not much you can do. He is only 16 so any child support you go for will be paid by his parents and not him. You can have a paternity test done when the baby is born but right now you can not force him to claim your child. As for dating I think you need to take a break from that. At 14 you are not going to meet a guy that is ready to raise a child. Just focus on yourself and being as healthy as possible before the birth. And please stay in school. It will be hard but you can do it. I hope all works out well for you. Good Luck and God Bless!i know u probably wont want to do this but seriously i would tell your parents if they dont know already.
when he/she is born im sure your parents will support u raising him and straight up respect your descision for no abortion or adoption
everything will work out fine
be brave and you will get thru this
i really hope everything works out fine
ps when u see ur bf next time slap him im sure it will feel good
good luck
ill pray for u IT,S REALLY HARD BUT YOU SHOULD GET YOUR PARENTS HELP AND LET UR BF BE... YOU CAN BE THE FATHER N THE MOTHER OF THE CHILD CUZ UR BF DOESNT REALLY CARE ABOUT THE CHILD AND WHO WOULD WANT A DAD WHO'S NOT GOING TO BE THERE FOR HIS OWN CHILD AND DOESNT EVEN CARE ABOUT HIM... LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE TO THE DOCTOR INSTESD OF UR BF...
WHISH U THE BEST AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF UR PREGNANCY...LET YOR PARENTS KNOW CUZ THEY WILL SUPPORT YOU IN EVERYTHING CUZ THEY HAVE SUPPORTED YOU SINCE U WERE A BABY...
GOOD LUCK.........................Next time you talk to your EX (if he isn't your ex yet he should be) ask him how he plans to cheat on a Paternity Test.
Do your parent(s) know? If not they need too.
Do his parent(s) know? After you tell your parent(s), I know it won't be easy. You need to tell his family too.
Finally, Are you under the care of a Physician (Doctor)? If you want a healthy baby & a healthy you, get a Doctor right now. Your age does matter. You & ur child (if u choose to continue the pregnancy) face more health risks during pregnancy than someone who is done with puberty. I'm not going to judge you. Things happen. Your fault/his fault, embarrassment/shame, none of it matters but your physical & mental health as well as your child's.
AmayaYou can get a paternity test when the baby is born, that will prove it for sure. You can also take him to court for a child support order if he's too lazy/pathetic to pay on his own. They can garnish his wages if he won't pay you, also send him to jail and stuff like that in some places if he refuses to pay. I would not talk to him about jail/garnished wages or anything like that at this point, it might freak him out more? But it is there in case you need it in the future.
Hopefully he will eventually come around and be in the childs life but if he doesn't you should at least try to get the child support, etc. He may just be freaking out temporarily. Its a ton for you but is a lot even for the dad to deal with when you guys are so young. Hope this works out and he gets some sense. And congratshave u gone to ur parents?
and if ur bf denies thts his baby
then u should tell him to take you
for a DNA test? or is tht only wen the
baby is born. but if u can do tht u should
you shouldnt get a abortion or adoption.
trust me, because i was gunna get aborted(idk if thts the word)
but instead i got adopted, but i know my mom and everythingif you are 14, I would suggest an abortion. And it's not too late for that.
1. You're too young
2. How are you going to support a kid if you have one, drop out of school and work part time
3. At least talk to the school nurse or your guidance councilor.
Unfortunately it sounds like he is going to fight you tooth and nail the entire way.
Have you talked to your parents yet about it? They should be able to help you more than any of us on answers can. Plus they will know sooner or later anyway. You don't have to do it alone, and there are groups out there that can pesent you with options.
Legally, you may have to take a paternity test in order force him to help you financially with the baby. He may not be able to do anything now, but as the child grows so will your boyfriend and his earning potential. You both made the decision and you BOTH have to deal with the consequences. It isn't just you and it isn't just him.Oh well! You already know what you can so to make the situation go away, but your against it so, Good Luck being a statistic.get help from your parents... and if he wont admit getting you preg and wont help you at all, then frankly he wont be a very good father and you can do so much better than that.
and also i wouldnt stay completely shut to adoption of abortion. I am the same age as you and a wont say that this would mess up your life but it will definately make your life very difficult. If you chose adoption some parents will let you stay connected with the child and that might help.
i wish you the best of luck with whatever you may choose to do. #If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
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